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"First Time always lasts forever"Written By: Shinigami 195 Disclaimer: I don't own them Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Yaoi, rape, Heero suffering, angst Pairings: 2x1 Summary: Heero has to come to terms with having
been raped, Duo tries to help him. //...// Is Heero thinking back "First Time always lasts forever" Heero sat in a shivering state in the corner of the
cell. He was beyond caring what happened to him so he didn’t
bother to look up when the door open. “That’s what I get?” Duo said, one hand on hip. “I come all this way, go through hell to get you out of here and I get Go Away! Geezs Heero thanks.” Heero pushed himself to his feet. “Duo?” “That’s me name,” Duo raised a comm link
to his mouth. “Go ahead Trowa give us your best shot.” “Copy.” “I would move away from the wall if I was you Heero.”
Heero moved slowly, with each step a joint of pain raced through his
body. A blast ripped through the wall. “HEERO!” Duo screamed jumping forward and
throwing himself over Heero took the hit of the falling stone and
brick. Heero blinked, the sun was too bright. He could feel
someone on top on him and Heero had to push the panic down to stop
himself yelling in fear. Duo pushed the rubble of him, and picked himself off
the ground. Heero blinked again as he saw Duo stand up over him. “You alright?” Duo asked rubbing his own back;
a large hole had been burned through the jacket. Heero narrowed his
eyes and hissed at Duo. “Never touch me again.” * * * Heero followed Duo round the battlefield and into a
nearby estate; Heero saw a familiar black motorcycle by a wall and
walked over to it. “You getting on?” Duo asked. “Why didn’t you bring two?” “Excuse me I didn’t think. Any way I didn’t
know what state you would be in so I played safe like I always do.”
Duo swung his own leg over the black machine and sat down. “Look
Heero you can either get on or I’ll have to tie you down.”
Duo’s words caused a flashback; Heero stumbled back into the
wall as a voice rang through his head. “Just submit… submit or I’ll tie you
down.” “Hay, Hay! Heero! What’s wrong mate?”
Duo looked up and noticed for the first time that Heero wasn’t
wearing his clothes but an old OZ uniform. Heero shook his head and
climbed on behind Duo. “Better hold on this is going to be a rough ride.”
Heero had to blink again but it did no good the same oily horrible
voice continued on speaking. Heero shivered and wrapped his arms round
Duo’s waist, thankfully he was behind Duo and that Duo couldn’t
see his fear. “Lets get this over with than.” Duo kicked started the engine and the two pilots roared off. * * * Duo wondered out of the bathroom and towards his bedroom,
drying his hair as he went. Duo walked past Heero room, paused, listened
and than turn back. “What the hell?” Duo blinked. “Heero Yuy, the perfect solider talking to himself, sounds like something I would do.” Duo pushed open the door and peered in. Heero was fast asleep, muttering to someone in his dreams, tossing and turning in his sleep. “Looks like Heero is having a nightmare.” Without turning on the light, Duo crossed the room and gently shook Heero’s shoulders. “Heero, Heero wake up baby. Did I just say that? Heero come on wake up.” SMACK! “Holy shit Heero, my nose!” Heero was aware of someone in his bedroom with him.
Going in to defensive mode Heero’s fist shot out causing his
attacker to cry in pain, Heero than grabbed the gun on his bedside
table. The light flicked on, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei stood
in the doorway, Duo’s yell had been enough for all of them to
come running, Duo was standing in the middle of the room nursing his
nose, blood soaked Duo’s hands and Heero was sitting up in bed
with a gun pointing at Duo’s chest. Quatre pulled out a handkerchief and rushed to Duo.
Duo took it gratefully and turned to Heero his eyes widen at the sight
of a gun at his chest. “Shit Heero… what was that for? Are you going
to kill me as well as break me nose?” Heero’s hand was shaking,
fear raced round his body, from the dream or the way Duo had woken
him up he didn’t know but he wished that it would stop. Quatre looked at Trowa and Wufei. “Lets leave these two alone.” The three walked
out. “Sorry.” Duo shook his head the handkerchief
was already a new shade of crimson red. Heero grabbed a box of tissues
and threw them at Duo. “Please leave me.” Heero rolled over
and faced the wall. Heero had to hold his breath to stop the tears that
threaten to overspill his eyes, as he felt Duo sit on the bed next
to him. “Heero… I’m not sure how to say this…
I’m not even sure if I should… but… here goes Maxwell…
Heero I love you.” As Heero heard these words his tears fell down his cheek,
he wanted to tell Duo that he loved him too but he couldn’t form
the words. After sitting in silent for a few minutes Duo stood up. “I’ll be going.” He turned to leave but
felt a hand on his wrist. Duo looked Heero in the eyes. Heero’s
Prussian eyes were red and tears still fell from them and Duo felt
his heart jump. “Duo?” “Yes?” Duo didn’t dare to hope. “You don’t.” Heero saw pain flash in
these violet eyes, “Yes I do love you Duo but I don’t deserve
you not now.” It was only when Duo spoke to Heero realise he
had spoken his thoughts. “Why don’t I deserve you?” Heero screwed his eyes shut and turned away back towards the wall. Duo felt his own cheeks grow wet and Duo turned and fled from the room. * * * Quatre gave a sad sigh as he watched Duo race from the
safe house. Quatre stood by the window in Heero’s room, before
Duo had left he had asked Quatre to watch Heero while he slept and
Quatre had promised to. Quatre had heard Duo and Heero’s conversation
and was upset by it, both loved each other but something had happened
to Heero that would keep the two friends apart, maybe forever. “Quatre?” Quatre turned to see Heero sitting
up. “Take it easy Heero.” “Why does my head hurt?” Heero looked round
the room. “Where’s Duo?” “He’s just left.” Quatre’s eyes
widen as Heero suddenly burst into tears. “No… No… No…” Heero muttered
to himself over and over again. “What Heero? What?” “I’m fucked.” Quatre pulled his friend
into a hug. “Why?” “I told Duo… about how I …” “I know Heero. I heard everything. You want to
talk about it?” Heero nodded into Quatre’s shoulder. Quatre was a little shocked; Mr. Heero Perfect Soldier
Yuy was acting like a five year old. The young man was scared stiff
about many things, one being Duo and two well Quatre was about to
find out. “Tell me Heero.” Quatre talked in a low voice
breaking through the fear that held Heero in its grip. And Heero did, once he started he found he couldn’t
stop, Heero opened his feelings to Quatre and told him everything
from the moment he was captured. “No Heero. You aren’t.” * * * Heero stared at the food laid on the table. He wasn’t
really hungry even though he hadn’t eaten in days. Duo was fishing
about in the fridge. Quatre was cleaning away the saucepans, Trowa
was added a few extra things to the table and Wufei had his head in
a book. Duo lifted his head from the fridge. “Anyone what
a virgin?” Heero’s head shot up, his eyes wide in terror.
Quatre spun round as Heero shoved his chair back and darted up the
stairs. Quatre looked at Duo, who held in his hand two cans of virgin
cola. “What I say wrong?” He asked. Trowa tapped his fingers on the table, Quatre stood
there staring deep in to Duo’s and Wufei hummed to himself. After
the room being in silent for 5 minutes (Not including Trowa’s
tapping and Wufei’s humming) Duo put the cola down and walked
out of the door and up the stairs. Quatre smiled and looked at Trowa. “How long?” “5:12 minutes.” “He’s getting quicker.” Wufei said. “I only hope him and Heero can sort things out.” Quatre whispered. * * * The message had come across loud and clear and Duo took
the stairs three at a time, he stopped by Heero’s closed door
and knocked. He waited, and waited before knocking again. Still no answer. Knocking one last time, Duo pushed open the door and
gasped in surprise. “Heero!” * * * Heero shut the door and began his search, it took a
few minutes to find what he need, a penknife. Heero sat on the bed,
memories raced through his head, “Get away from me.” “It wont hurt, not me anyway.” The laughing
echo round the large room. Too large, the space was too much, even in this tiny
room the space was far too big. All this flashbacks the memories they
had to end, one way and one way only. Heero opened the knife and held
up the blade, sharp enough for what he wanted to use it for. He placed it against his skin on his right wrist; he
stopped hearing knocking at his door, than again. Heero quickly drew
the knife across. It dug deep into his skin, the red blood poured
from it and Heero watched as his pale skin turned a dark bloody red.
Some more knocking and than the door was pushed open. Duo and Heero locked eyes, both moved like darts, Heero’s
hand with the knife in to his other wrist and Duo forward. Heero had
already lost blood and couldn’t move as fast as Duo could. Duo grabbed the knife ripping it from Heero grasp. Heero
reached blindly for it, red dots covered his vision. Duo pulled the
knife up high above his head. “No Heero.” Heero stood up. “Give me the knife Duo, I MUST do this… you
don’t understand.” Heero made another grab for the knife
but Duo spun, the knife went out the open window and into the lake
far below. Heero landed against Duo. Duo held on dearly for Heero
refusing to let go to the man he loved. Duo laid Heero down gently
on the bed and tore a piece of material from his own black t-shirt
to put around the cut in Heero’s wrist. “Duo?” Heero’s voice was thick and low. “Yes.” “Why did you do that?” “Because I love you, and you mean everything to
me.” “But I don’t deserve you anymore.” “Why not baby?” Heero sat up and looked straight
into Duo’s eyes. “Because I was… raped.” “Tell me.” Duo said softly, “Tell me
everything baby.” “Just promise me one thing?” “What.” “You’ll never let me go?” “You bug the hell out of me Heero… but yes
I’ll never let you go… sleep now baby, and tell me everything
when you wake up.” “Will you stay?” “I’ll be right here baby, I’m not going anywhere.” * * * Duo stayed by Heero’s side all though the night, he cleaned the cut in Heero’s wrist, and bandaged in up with the proper stuff. Making sure not to wake Heero, Duo took him carefully in his arms and fell asleep as well. * * * When Heero woke Duo wasn’t there. Sitting up quickly
he croaked Duo’s name. Than he stopped hearing voices and listened. “Duo, I’m not sure you should go. Heero needs
you right now.” “Quatre if Duo has to go he has to go, I will be
here and so will Wufei.” “Trowa can’t you go instead of me? Please?
I’ll do your next mission when it comes along. I have to speak
to Heero about something and I promised I wouldn’t leave him.”
“Yes Trowa, we can do the mission together that
way when we get to the safe house we will be on our own.” “Come on Quatre do you really think Trowa is going
to fall for that… hay I was just saying.” “Its ok Duo… I’ll do it… come on
Quatre lets go pack… we might be a long time.” Heero sow
the door open and Duo walked in. “Oh! You’re awake. Why didn’t you call
me?” “Why didn’t you go on the mission?” “Huh?” “You had a job to do but you refused to do it.
Why? That’s stupid Duo.” “Excuse Me! I promised you last night I’m
not leaving you. Trowa can do the mission.” “You don’t have to look after me I’m
not weak.” Heero felt his cheek go red, last night he the perfect
soldier had asked a braided baka to never let him go, he had told
the baka that he loved him. “I never said you were. But I can’t go anyway.” “Why not?” “Because I love you.” “You said that last night.” “I meant everything I said last night.” Heero felt his face go a darker shade of red as he looked
down at the floor and muttered. “So did I.” Heero looked up as he felt Duo touch his hand and peel
back the bandage that was wrapped around his wrist. Heero felt so
foolish at trying and failing to take his own life. “You want to tell about why you did this to yourself?”
Duo asked gently. “I told you last night… I was…” “It’s alright I know. Tell me about it.”
Heero looked away. “Please? I just want to help.” Heero meet Duo’s graze, seeing the light of love in Duo’s eyes filled Heero with strength and so he begun. //“I was taking before the base commander, beaten the shit out of me and dragged back into a cell. A few hours later the door open and five men walked in. I pushed myself to my feet and made a bolt for the door, as I pushed past one of the men he grabbed my arm and swung me round. I went flying into a wall, I heard the door shut and the men laughed. I couldn’t hear their words but they started to beat me again. I tried to block them but the odds were against me. I wasn’t sure what they were going to do but there was something about them that scared the shit out of me.”// Heero shivered, and pulled the bedcovers round him. Duo sat next to him on the bed and listened, letting Heero go at his own speed. //“They laughed at me, making jokes and finally something in me snapped. I nearly killed one of them a few more seconds and he would have been dead. One of them said something about being frisky, another about sweet virginity. The next thing I felt was cold hard metal. Handcuffs were put around my wrists and I was attached to a metal bar that hung from the ceiling. The beating started again, I kicked out trying to hurt them as much as I could. They stepped away and grabbed out at a leg, another chain was pulled from the floor and was put around my ankles. I could only move a few centimetres and didn’t have a chance in hell in protecting myself.”// Duo noticed that Heero was jumping missing out lots of bits like how he nearly killed the man, how he was stopped. Duo shook his head what did it matter at least Heero was letting it all out. //“My clothes were striped from my body, the material burned at my skin. Then the hands were on me, I couldn’t stop them. They went everywhere, hands tongues. It made me want to cry at how easily I had let this happen, it made me want to throw up at just how sick and perverted people were. One moved behind me it scared me because I couldn’t see him or feel him than it hurt.”// Duo placed his arms round Heero as the tears came, holding him gently and rubbing his back softly, Duo managed to get the rest out of Heero. //“I bit my lip to stop myself screaming I bit on it until it bleed and than I screamed out, they just laughed, each had a go and than the beating started again and I was left there, hanging from the ceiling until they came again and it started all over again than a girl came. She made them stop and made them take me down, she left with them but they came back again, but this time once they had finished with what… what… once they had finished they put me in clothes with a promise that they would come back. Than you came to get me out.”// Duo felt his t-shirt grow wet as Heero slowly cried
himself to sleep. Duo lay back on the bed, Heero nesting in his arms,
and thought about what Heero had told him. Duo sighed as he watched
Heero sleep. Who could hurt someone like this? Why? How can I make it better? Show him what he means to me… just show him how much I care and how much I love him… I’m sure that will help. * * * Heero woke up slowly, Duo laid next to him fast asleep.
Heero smiled. The perfect angel, he thought. Duo stirred and opened
his violet eyes. “Morning.” He said sleepily, yawning at the
same time. Heero laughed. “Ohayo!” “Is it time for breakfast yet?” Duo asked
as he sat up. “Brought you some.” Wufei walked in carrying
a huge tray. Duo licked his lips hungrily as Wufei handed him the
tray, which had two cooked breakfasts on and a pot of coffee. “Thanks.” “I leave you two alone.” And Wufei left. Duo pulled a face. “How the hell am I going to do this?” Heero
raised an eyebrow at Duo as Duo reached over him to put the tray on
the bedside table. Heero watched him struggle and laughed as Duo managed
it. “Wasn’t funny.” Duo said pulling another face.
The two friends eat in silent. And than Heero looked Duo in the eye
and asked. “What now?” “Now? I help you and in return you let me keep
you be my side… forever?” Heero took the plates and placed
them on the table, he took Duo’s hands in his. “Will you?” “Of course. I’ll never let anyone hurt you
again.” Tears raced down Heero cheeks. “It hurt so much.” He whispered. Duo reached
out and pulled Heero into his arms. “I know but I promise it will get so much better.” “Thank you kiobito.” Duo’s heart leaped
as Heero said those words and pulled back. Duo leaned in and placed
his lips against Heero’s, who’s opened from his tongue.
When Duo pulled back. “When you are already. I will wait, I will stay by your side and wait.” Six months later. //Heero was running, the blackness surrounded him and
he could hear laughing, his legs stopped as a voice floated over to
him slimy and greasy and than the hands started to touch him, nails
dug in to his groin as someone behind pushed in to him. Heero screamed
in pain.// Heero sat straight up in bed; his body was covered in
sweat. He looked to his left and could hear even breathing which told
him that Duo was there and was still asleep. Heero reached out into
the blackness searching for the glass of water on the bedside table.
His hand was trembling and he gripped the glass too tightly. The water
spilled on the bed, small tiny bits of glass dug into hand. “Shit.” A light clicked on and Heero closed his eyes as it blinded. “Heero? What’s wrong? What did you do to your
hand?” “Gomen Duo.” Duo took Heero’s hand in
his. Duo examined it carefully and than threw back the covers. “Come on lets get this cleaned up.” Heero laid down half an hour later, his hand now in
a bandage. “Gomen Duo I didn’t mean to wake you.” “That doesn’t matter. I don’t care as
long as you are all right. You want to talk about it?” “Just the same old dream. Running, hearing them,
feeling them.” Heero bit his lip as the tears came. Duo wrapped
his arms round Heero. After holding him for a few minutes he felt
Heero push back. “What’s wrong?” He whispered. “Duo…” Heero reached up and kissed Duo
lightly on the lips. “… I want to forget… I want to
know…” Heero took a deep breath. “…I want to know…
what it is like… with someone… that loves me.” Duo
smiled. “Are you sure?” Heero nodded slowly. Duo leaned in a kissed Heero slowly, ever so slowly,
letting Heero part his lips in his own time, letting Heero’s
tongue explore his mouth. Heero grasped as he felt Duo’s hands
tug at the black boxers he wore. As soon as Duo had gotten rid of
any clothes him and Heero had been wearing he coaxed Heero on to his
back. Duo kept his lips on Heero’s as he moved his hands over
Heero’s chest. Duo started a trail down Heero’s neck and
on to his chest following the path his hands had made. He never came
above Heero, he never blocked out the light, which shone on the bed. Duo’s hands went lower and played with the soft
ball at the base of Heero’s shaft while his teeth nibbled at
a nipple. Heero felt Duo move over his body, nothing came back,
no flashbacks, nothing, just Duo, who touch him so gently, so gently
that he managed to make Heero writhe against him. Duo came back up
for a long, long dragging kiss. Groin rubbed against groin in a rhythm
that made Heero pant and grasp. Heero’s back arched and once again a hand clamped
on Duo’s wrist. “Easy baby.” Duo purred. “This is all
I’m going to do so you can relax.” Heero pushed back the
image that came into his head. “Just feel, let me work.”
Heero didn’t let go but his grip loosen as Duo’s fingers
rubbed against a soft spot in him. At once Heero felt a wave of passion
hit him and he gave a small moan. Duo smiled at this and sent his
other hand skimming over Heero’s chest. “Duo… do it…” Heero moaned and Duo
removed his fingers. He placed his erect member at Heero’s entrance
and pushed his way in. Heero gasped and grabbed Duo pulling him down
for a kiss. Duo returned it. “Are you alright?” Heero nodded as Duo drove
himself deep into Heero. Duo’s length hit that sensitive spot
in side Heero moaned again. “Right there…” And Duo did it again and
got another moan from Heero. “Uh huh… right there.”
Duo smiled and drew back slowly and drove in again. “There?” “Yes.” Heero panted as Duo teased him again
and again. Duo built up a slow and steady rhythm, which sent Heero
in to a fit of passion as Heero came nearer and nearer to his peak.
“Please Duo… faster… harder.” “You asked.” And Duo gave everything he got.
Duo drove himself into Heero faster and faster, one hand laid on Heero’s
cheek the other stroked Heero’s length in time. “DUO!” Heero screamed as he met his peak and
released his fluids on to Duo’s hand. Duo came as well a few
thrusts later. He gave a loud groan, and bucked before collapsing
on top on Heero. Both boys laid in silence for a few minutes and than
Heero moved stroking Duo’s back. Duo pushed himself up and rolled
off Heero and tugged Heero into his arms. “Thank you Duo.” Duo nuzzled at the gap between Heero’s neck and
shoulder. “I was about to thank you.” Duo said smiling
as he kissed along Heero’s shoulder blade. Heero eyes closed
and reopened. “Duo?” He whispered. “Yes?” “I love you.” “I love you too baby.” Heero’s eyes fell shut again and he fell into a deep sleep but this time no nightmares came. OWARI |
